Passions Read online

  Gavin gripped the wooden mantle, bracing himself against it with his back turned to her. His back shivered with convulses. And though his head was down, she could hear him breathing heavily. Each exhale was accompanied by a guttural sound, like a growl.

  Chloe didn’t have to know much about vampires to know that he was fighting the urge to feed on her. After touching the tiny cut, she found that it was much smaller than she originally believed and pushed herself up with the help of the nearby sofa arm. A tiny smear of blood appeared on her hand, but the wound barely hurt at all. What was injured the most was her trust in him.

  She wasn’t sure if she should speak and try to comfort him or run for shelter. No, she couldn’t run. They had just finished telling each other they wouldn’t leave. Fleeing now would make her a liar.

  Chloe gathered her strength and approached the volatile vampire. He didn’t appear to sense her approach in any way, and when she lightly touched his arm, he went still again. No convulsing, no breathing, nothing. Like a stone statue, he stood there, half leaning against the mantel. She couldn’t see his face.

  “Gavin, it’s okay,” was all she could whisper. Chloe didn’t even know why she said it. Of course it wasn’t ok that he had almost killed her and drank her blood. But what could she tell him instead?

  He didn’t break his promise, and that’s what mattered.

  “No, it’s not,” he grumbled.

  “Nothing happened. We’re ok.”

  “Nothing” was a relative term. He had tasted her blood, and he probably craved more. That wasn’t “nothing”. But he had enough control to pull back before things got worse.

  Gavin straightened up and met her own tortured gaze with his. Only, his eyes were not as she expected. They were red with hunger as they had been that night in the kitchen when she cut herself. Her heart seized in her chest for a fraction of a second.

  “You don’t understand. I want to be with you so badly, but it can’t happen. Look at me.”

  “I am,” she said. “And I’m not afraid. We can make it work.”

  Again, she wasn’t sure why she said it, but it just seemed right to say. It was the truth. They could make it work somehow, someway. If they thought hard enough and tried, they could. Anything was possible. He had given her hope and encouragement when she needed it most, and now she would do the same for him.

  Gavin shook his head, every muscle in his body tense. “I could never forgive myself if I hurt you.”

  “But you won’t hurt me.” Chloe wasn’t totally confident in that statement and he could tell.

  “You don’t know that.” His voice dropped a few octaves, deep and growling.

  “Yes, I do. You pulled back now even after…” She barely had the courage to say it.

  Gavin’s hackles rose. “But I didn’t want to. Your blood-” His eyes darted down to her bleeding neck and fixed there for longer than she was comfortable with. She covered her neck with her hand and flinched when he took a lunging step towards her. But he stopped, hands balled into tight fists, so tight that she saw black blood drip from between his fingers as nails dug into his own flesh.

  “Gavin, we can make this work.”

  Gavin laughed, but it was a laugh of incredulity, completely empty of humor. “No. This can never work. I want you too much. It’s not safe.”

  Chloe watched him standing there, the two halves of himself warring against each other in the battle that had been going on for almost three hundred years. The slightest wrong move would give one of them the advantage. But she was the equalizer, the secret weapon to end the fighting.

  She removed her hand from her neck and took a step toward him, extending her palm to him, fingers trembling. Gavin eyed her skin stained with glistening blood droplets. His tongue peeked out between his lips in an obvious sign of thirst, but he did nothing more.

  “You see?” she whispered. “You’re strong. I’m offering myself to you, and you still won’t take it.”

  “But I want to,” he whimpered. “I want to so badly.”

  She couldn’t imagine what he tasted in her blood. Was it like a heroin high? A shot of whiskey to an alcoholic? Sugar candy to a child? She might never understand how blood made him reach this point of desperation.

  Chloe cautioned another step closer, and Gavin angled himself away like he was ready to flee. But step after step brought her closer, and still he did not take her bait. Not until she was close enough for him to feel her breath on his face.

  His nostrils flared, taking in the scent of her blood, but she could see the humanity in his vampire eyes. He still had control. She offered her hand up to him once more, raising it up to the level of his chin.

  Gavin’s entire body shuddered, but he kept his eyes fixed on hers. “Why are you doing this?”

  “To prove a point,” she replied coolly.

  Gavin glared at her. “That I’m nothing more than a monster? I’m on the edge between taking you and killing you, and you push me this way?”

  Chloe blinked in amazement at his words, trying to grasp their meaning. Did her blood serve as an aphrodisiac? Gazing deeper into his vampire eyes, she saw it there plainly. The lust for blood and lust of the flesh were powerful.

  “You’re not a monster, Gavin,” she whispered, hoping the softness of her voice would ease his torn soul.

  His hands shot out and seized her by the arms. Chloe let out a tight breath at the sudden movement but did not struggle against him. His hold on her was not so tight that it might cause bruising later but firm enough to keep her from running away.

  “Then why do I smell fear in you?” he snarled, and she wasn’t sure if he was angry at her or at himself.

  “I’m not afraid of you,” she replied. “I’m afraid if I can’t have you.”

  However he chose to perceive her response, it worked. His hands relaxed and fell from her while his handsome face was marred with confusion and inexplicable rage.

  Before he had a chance to run away, Chloe lunged at him and pressed her lips against his to prove that he was not the object of her fear and neither was the threat of death. She didn’t want to die, especially by Gavin’s hands. But if this helped to prove that she was completely committed to whatever this was they shared, then it was not in vain.

  Gavin returned the kiss, but would not touch her otherwise, even though her hands pressed him against her, holding him there so he wouldn’t flee.

  When she finally released him and took a step back, Gavin braced one hand against the wooden mantel to steady himself, his red and black eyes rolling. She waited while he recovered from the shock she had inflicted upon him. It might not have been necessary, but now he knew that he could consciously control himself if he wanted to.

  Chloe also hoped that this proved to him that she trusted him completely. Even bleeding and vulnerable, she gave herself to him in the most dangerous way possible without a second thought.

  “And what about years from now?” he said, his voice a little louder than it had been before, rose in frustration against the situation more than her. “You’ll grow old, and I won’t.”

  Chloe hadn’t thought about that before, but it wasn’t an important detail in the heat of the moment. “That’s not a big deal.”

  “It is to me.” He spat. “I don’t know if I could handle seeing you waste away in your old age while I can do nothing to stop it.”

  It was then that Chloe got the idea. With a trembling hand, she pulled back her collar to expose the soft flesh of her shoulder and side of her neck that was still slightly bleeding. “Then let me spend eternity with you.”

  It was a rash decision, an impulsive move that would change her life forever. But she wasn’t thinking about that anymore. All she could think of was making this all better.

  A disgusted grimace was joined with his response. “I can’t. Even if I knew how it worked, I wouldn’t let you throw your life away like that. You have a family, a potential career. I couldn’t ask you to join me in darkness.”
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  Again with the poetics, Chloe thought. She let her pajama shirt pop back into place. “Then join me in the light,” she offered flippantly with a shrug. She didn’t mean for him to take it seriously. Nowhere in any of her studying had she seen any mention of a cure for vampirism besides death.

  Gavin shook his head again, as she expected. “No, it’s imposs-”

  Then, a look came over him, washing away the despair and hopelessness. Whatever idea passed through his mind, he liked it, and it latched on tight.

  “Wait,” he said, dropping his arms to his side and staring off into space with a vacant gaze. She could see gears turning in his eyes, still red hot from hunger and lust.

  A long silent moment passed before Chloe began to lose her patience. “What is it?”

  Gavin blinked, and his eyes swiveled around the floor and the room as if he were looking for something. “I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of this before.”

  “Haven’t thought of what?” Chloe whined, hating that he was keeping her in suspense.

  Finally, he looked at her, and she could see a small smile appear on his face, the first genuine one she had seen since before their kiss.

  “I told you that I had met another vampire once before. He didn’t stay long, but we did talk quite a bit. He was born a vampire, unlike me. When I explained to him that this curse was brought on by an illness, he envied me. He said that I could be human again.”

  It was the solution to their problems. “How?” she asked hastily.

  “He said that my condition was caused by a virus I contracted while I was sick. My wife and son did too, but they were too weak to accept it, and that’s what killed them. The virus is like a parasite, but there’s a way to starve it out and cleanse it from my body. I can’t feed for seven days, and at the end of the seven days, I have to drink pure vinegar. It purges my system, and I can be human again.”

  She threw her arms out in an exaltation of joy. “Great! We’ll start today, and in a week, you’ll be human again!”

  The wary look on Gavin’s face made her joy go sour.

  “It’s not that simple,” he said. “Since then, I’ve tried to reach seven days and I could only get to four without difficulty. After that, I normally become unconscious of my own actions, and I go out and feed. I’d need to be locked in the cellar from the outside. I’ve never had anyone to help me.”

  “My aunt wouldn’t help?”

  “She was too frightened of the dangers that came with keeping an uncontrollable monster under the house.”

  It was understandable, and if Chloe hadn’t felt so passionately for Gavin, she would have told him the same. But that was far from the case. She wasn’t sure how it had come to this, but she was willing to walk through hell itself to make this work. Besides writing, she had never been so determined about anything in her life.

  “We can do this, Gavin. I know we can. I’ll do anything.”

  Gavin looked at her, studying her expression as if he were searching for any hint of mocking or joking. Perhaps he thought that she wasn’t serious.

  Chloe charged towards him, prepared to do whatever was necessary to convince him. But, he was ready for her this time and held her back.

  “No, Chloe,” he demanded. “If we’re going to go through with this, you cannot get too close.”

  She let out a huff and gave him a pleading look. “I just showed you that you could control yourself.”

  “I’ve had a meal already tonight. I’m not starving like I would be after three days.” He lifted his chin as if he were asserting his dominance. “You must keep a safe distance from me and refrain from any interaction that might bring out the beast in me.”

  Chloe wasn’t sure if he meant the monster that craved blood or the lustful carnal beast that wanted to take her. She smiled and nodded in agreement. “I’ll try” she teased.

  None of this made a lot of sense. Her heart, once shattered and slowly mending back together, seemed a little more whole now, knowing that Gavin did care for her. If he was willing to give up immortality and practical invincibility to grow old with her, then surely he wanted her as more than a plaything to feed on.

  Chloe couldn’t comprehend the sudden changes. A month ago, she was alone and miserable. Tonight, she stood before a creature that, by all scientific logic, shouldn’t exist, professing all she had felt for him since they met just a short time ago. She hardly knew exactly what was happening or why, but there was no use fighting it anymore. They wanted each other, needed each other. And Chloe knew that in a week’s time, this would all just be a bad memory, a stepping stone on the way to a brighter future for both of them.

  Chapter 15

  Chloe suspected that day two of Gavin’s detox program would be much like his first. Sure, he was a little grumpy all night while they worked out the rest of the scene on the beach for the novel, but he was tolerable.

  She sat on the sofa, waiting for him to emerge from the basement. Her fingers scratched at the ceramic mug in her hands, her eyes anxiously staring at the empty fireplace. Gray ashes remained from the other night when Gavin had lit a fire, and she had been too lazy to sweep them away. They were a reminder of that night, and if she could help it, they would sit there until the world ended.

  Clad in her flannel pajamas and favorite robe, this night seemed a little colder than usual. The chill seeped through her wool socks and made her toes slightly numb. Even with her feet curled up on the sofa cushion, it was hard to ignore the drop in temperature. All she could think was that it never got this cold in the city so early in the season.

  Silent seconds ticked by, and she began to hum. It was something she did to fill the air with something other than the ringing silence or crickets from outside. Chloe hummed the tunes with no precise melody in mind. It was just a string of pleasant noises to distract her from the fact that it was two hours past sunset, and Gavin was still in the basement.

  Her mind replayed the events of the night they last kissed, the night that he tasted her blood and all the effects from it. The memory continually popped up at the oddest moments, both in the hours that she slept and the hours she was awake.

  She remembered the hungry, lustful glint in his eyes and the way his whole body went rigid and tight with control. She’d never seen anything like it before, and she hoped not to again. Pushing Gavin to the edge of insanity was the last thing she wanted to do.

  But that kiss, so soft and full of every emotion that needn’t be explained with words. Chloe tried to push away the bad consequences of that kiss, but they would be forever linked in her thoughts.

  She regretted nothing, and if she kissed him again and he lost control as he did before, she would still regret nothing. Kissing a vampire might have been the most thrilling and most satisfying thing she had ever done. Nothing could compare.

  She wasn’t sure why Gavin’s kiss was more addictive than Brent’s. Perhaps it was the raw need behind every sinuous move of his lips against hers, or the way he held her so close as if she would fly away with the wind that had wailed outside the cabin. Whatever it was, she couldn’t wait another five days for such a kiss again.

  If it weren’t for his constant state of discontent and irritability, Chloe might have risked another kiss upon that mouth that had tasted her blood. But he wouldn’t even let her close and refused to touch her. Under other circumstances, she would have been offended. But she understood all too well that things could go so terribly wrong if the kiss got out of hand.

  Chloe’s long-suffering paid off when she heard the familiar sounds of Gavin opening the hatch in the kitchen. She turned and watched as her vampire stiffly climbed his way up and out into the fluorescent light.

  She smiled at first, glad to have him here at last. But, when he turned to look at her, her smile faded.

  Gavin looked terrible. If it were possible, his skin was even paler than usual, and his eyes were rimmed with dark circles as if he hadn’t slept in days. He was still gorgeous in the same way he ha
d always been, but there was a sadness written in the lines of his face that hadn’t been there the day before.

  Chloe rose from the sofa and set her cup down before coming to him. “Are you ok?” she asked. It was a silly question. Of course, he wasn’t.

  Gavin sighed and shut the hatch rather heavily. The sudden bang of wood on wood made her jump a bit. But she refused to run from him, even when he looked at her with a gaze laced with a brooding, inexplicable resentment.

  She took a tiny step back and waited.

  “I’m fine,” he replied. But the sharp blade of hate was in his voice.

  How could he speak to her like that? Chloe tried to convince herself it was the hunger. He had warned her from the beginning that it would be like this. She’d even had a taste of it that one night that seemed a lifetime ago when she had stood between him and his next meal.

  Just when she thought her heart was on the mend, she felt it crack a little. It was enough to make her want to give him anything he desired, even her own blood. She’d even give him her own blood if it would make this bad attitude go away.

  Gavin rubbed his hand over his face and grumbled sleepily. “I’m sorry,” he said, obviously picking up on her reaction to his venomous words.

  Chloe shook her head and wrapped her arms around her midsection. “It’s alright. I understand.”

  Gavin bared his teeth at her. “No, you can’t understand this,” he snapped.

  Her hands began to shake, even pressed against her ribs. There was no point in arguing. It would just make him more upset. Chloe stood there, waiting for anything; another apology; a gentle gesture that told her everything was and will be ok; anything to ease her sudden doubts.

  She tried to think about the end goal. In less than a week, he’d be human, and this would be a memory to look back on and laugh.

  Gavin ran his fingers through his hair, which now seemed a little more unkempt than usual. Frustration radiated from him, but he wouldn’t look at her now. His eyes wandered, and she wondered if he was trying to distract himself.